Recently, I called for an improvement in the way conferences are run and pointed out that the current downturn is an opportunity to make some long-overdue changes in conference behavior. Conferences should involve their audiences more, and in more significant ways. Conferences should tell coherent stories, not fill endless time slots. And conferences should use MCs as audience representatives. Among other changes.
To further promote these ends, I’m announcing a contest for the best story about the worst conference experience you’ve ever had. First prize is an hour’s free telephone coaching either for a speech or a conference design. Second and third prizes are copies of my new book, Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma.
The contest begins with this posting and will run through the end of next week. Entries must be 200 words or less, and my decision is final.
So bring it on. Was it a memorably bad speaker? A particularly stupid theme or breakout session? A location? An audience? What made the experience awful? Dish it out, and we’ll compare notes as they come in. It’s time to raise the game by punishing the evil-doers.
Hi Nick,
I don’t know if this qualifies as a conference – it was in a lecture auditorium in a university – but nevertheless: When I was an undergraduate student in the early 80s, we had one professor who was very nervous. His nervousness impacted diction and volume, and the poor man did most of his lectures in a mumble, wandering restlessly back and forth in front of the 250 students. To one lecture he came dressed in slightly too short corduroy pants, a shirt with a home-knitted waistcoat, and sandals with brown and white striped socks. While he walked back and forth, one of his socks worked its way out of the front of the sandal. After a while, about 4 inches of sock flapped gaily ahead of him with each step. He didn’t notice this himself (or ignored it), but the students certainly did not hear a word of what he said. Instead they stared, fascinated, at the striped sock and wondered when he would lose it completely.
Hi Nick,
I don’t know if this qualifies as a conference – it was in a lecture auditorium in a university – but nevertheless: When I was an undergraduate student in the early 80s, we had one professor who was very nervous. His nervousness impacted diction and volume, and the poor man did most of his lectures in a mumble, wandering restlessly back and forth in front of the 250 students. To one lecture he came dressed in slightly too short corduroy pants, a shirt with a home-knitted waistcoat, and sandals with brown and white striped socks. While he walked back and forth, one of his socks worked its way out of the front of the sandal. After a while, about 4 inches of sock flapped gaily ahead of him with each step. He didn’t notice this himself (or ignored it), but the students certainly did not hear a word of what he said. Instead they stared, fascinated, at the striped sock and wondered when he would lose it completely.
Our CFO attended a tax code conference (yes, poor fellow) and had a rough experience. The gentlemen giving this particular presentation absolutely LOVED his topic. That part was good. Unfortunately, he literally (and I mean literally) read out of the tax code with minimal commentary for several hours between breaks. More than half of the class did not return after lunch. The presenter was so enamored with the topic, I suppose he believed it could stand on its own and keep everyone’s attention so completely as his.
Our CFO attended a tax code conference (yes, poor fellow) and had a rough experience. The gentlemen giving this particular presentation absolutely LOVED his topic. That part was good. Unfortunately, he literally (and I mean literally) read out of the tax code with minimal commentary for several hours between breaks. More than half of the class did not return after lunch. The presenter was so enamored with the topic, I suppose he believed it could stand on its own and keep everyone’s attention so completely as his.
When I was first encouraged (coerced) by Nick to take part in this, I thought it would be easy. After all, I have attended hundreds(maybe thousands – no, hundreds) of conferences. I could not, for the life of me, recall one experience that was bad enough to recount. This is an “AHA!” observation; bad conference experiences are forgotten…
Anyhow, after racking my brain (this does not take long these days) I remembered a mega-conference in Taipei. Picture the scene: 2500 people in a tiered auditorium. They had just be addressed by Carly Fiorina, Bill Gates and John Chambers. No, really!
Next, some Swedish visionary. But he is not present. Instead, his assistant will deliver his speech, which will be sent via SMS (text) to the assistant’s mobile phone in real time…
After the initial novelty value wore off (about 1.4 seconds) people started leaving. Forty minutes later, there were about 100 people in the auditorium, all connected intimately to the organising committee.
When I was first encouraged (coerced) by Nick to take part in this, I thought it would be easy. After all, I have attended hundreds(maybe thousands – no, hundreds) of conferences. I could not, for the life of me, recall one experience that was bad enough to recount. This is an “AHA!” observation; bad conference experiences are forgotten…
Anyhow, after racking my brain (this does not take long these days) I remembered a mega-conference in Taipei. Picture the scene: 2500 people in a tiered auditorium. They had just be addressed by Carly Fiorina, Bill Gates and John Chambers. No, really!
Next, some Swedish visionary. But he is not present. Instead, his assistant will deliver his speech, which will be sent via SMS (text) to the assistant’s mobile phone in real time…
After the initial novelty value wore off (about 1.4 seconds) people started leaving. Forty minutes later, there were about 100 people in the auditorium, all connected intimately to the organising committee.
How about this one, which is really more of a “most embarrassing conference moments ever”: Years ago I wrote a major presentation for a ad agency EVP to deliver to a client’s annual meeting. This was one of the agency’s three largest clients — worth millions in revenue. We went to the venue in midtown Manhattan and as I stood outside chatting with some of the clients, a pigeon pooped on my head! Thankfully I am virtually embarrassment-proof, so all I could do was laugh. (And then go wash my hair in the ladies room.)
How about this one, which is really more of a “most embarrassing conference moments ever”: Years ago I wrote a major presentation for a ad agency EVP to deliver to a client’s annual meeting. This was one of the agency’s three largest clients — worth millions in revenue. We went to the venue in midtown Manhattan and as I stood outside chatting with some of the clients, a pigeon pooped on my head! Thankfully I am virtually embarrassment-proof, so all I could do was laugh. (And then go wash my hair in the ladies room.)
Pardon my typo — of course I meant “an agency EVP” in the post above.
Pardon my typo — of course I meant “an agency EVP” in the post above.
Years ago (I won’t say how many) I had my first paper accepted at a national conference in my field. The research was timely and had been cited in the Wall Street Journal as well as other venues. When I got up to present, one of the audience members started attacking my research methodology. Several others in the audience then strongly disagreed with him. I just stood there and watched…the chair of the session did nothing and I never did get to finish my presentation…
Years ago (I won’t say how many) I had my first paper accepted at a national conference in my field. The research was timely and had been cited in the Wall Street Journal as well as other venues. When I got up to present, one of the audience members started attacking my research methodology. Several others in the audience then strongly disagreed with him. I just stood there and watched…the chair of the session did nothing and I never did get to finish my presentation…
I love these, especially Delaney’s and Mike’s, tho’ Piet’s vision of a speech delivered by an assistant is pretty good, too. Keep ’em coming!
I love these, especially Delaney’s and Mike’s, tho’ Piet’s vision of a speech delivered by an assistant is pretty good, too. Keep ’em coming!
I was at a local Chamber of Commerce monthly coffee hour/breakfast. The address that morning was to be delivered by the county’s judge-executive (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/County_Judge-Executive) who was known for his long winded-ness.
He began his remarks with a self-defacing joke that went over well. He produced a small alarm clock and said it was set for the time that his remarks would be over. In about 20 minutes, the alarm went off at the proper time. He joked that “everyone hits the snooze, right?”, people laughed, and he continued. And kept hitting the snooze for 3-4 more times before just turning the clock off and talking for another 30 minutes. Attendees deserted the room and only 4-50 people (mostly other government officials) remained until the end.
I was at a local Chamber of Commerce monthly coffee hour/breakfast. The address that morning was to be delivered by the county’s judge-executive (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/County_Judge-Executive) who was known for his long winded-ness.
He began his remarks with a self-defacing joke that went over well. He produced a small alarm clock and said it was set for the time that his remarks would be over. In about 20 minutes, the alarm went off at the proper time. He joked that “everyone hits the snooze, right?”, people laughed, and he continued. And kept hitting the snooze for 3-4 more times before just turning the clock off and talking for another 30 minutes. Attendees deserted the room and only 4-50 people (mostly other government officials) remained until the end.
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Thanks, it’s very informative
Thanks, it’s very informative