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If your spirit is low, how can you lift others up?

This is a question I posed to Sen John McCain a few weeks ago, as he sat captive-in-coach next to me on a flight to LA. For most of the flight, he read a novel (The Hypnotist) and likely dialed out of his predicament in Congress with the budget battle.

I read, then whipped out my laptop and answered emails at a breakneck pace. As we started to descend to LAX, McCain and I started a short, but interesting conversation. “I saw you pecking away furiously, looked like important business,” he quipped.

“Was answering my fan mail, which is as important to my soul as it is to my readers,” I replied with dead-seriousness. I explained that I was a Buckaroo Banzai, so to speak, with several careers – one of which was as an author. To reinvigorate myself, I’d gather all reader or speaking ‘fan mail’ into a single folder and answer them in a single session – when I needed the extra motivation and inspiration. This flight was the middle of a seven-day travel stretch (with one rare day back in LA to change out clothes, etc.). I was beat, and my fan mail from the new book or my last keynote offered me encouragement and purpose.

“How often do you read yours?” I asked. He looked puzzled and shrugged his shoulders. He explained that he was more likely to get ticked-off-citizen mails from his staffers. I insisted that he likely gets a lot of fan mail, that derserved more than a form answer. My promise to him was that if he took the time to read it and engage with his ‘choir’, he'd be lifted up emotionally and spiritually.

Here’s the point. In all of our lives, we get ‘fan mail’. Just think of it as written positive feedback: Thanks, you-made-a-difference, I’m influenced by your work, you are a good friend/colleague, etc. It trickles into our Inbox, sometimes in handwritten (classy) thank-you card format or even voice mails. What do you do with them? I suggest you collect them, and read/answer them as a therapeutic exercise.

Nope: Most of us, like McCain, are more likely to see the nasty grams that demand instant attention. We pore over them, and likely give them more weight in our mind. Fellow author/blogger Jon Acuff wonders why so many people ignore the choir, yet give their critics PhDs! We shrug off the praise-notes out of false humility and obsess over the daggers that pop out of the pile. Bad idea.

Starting now, I challenge all of you to collect all the positive feedback you get and periodically review it. This includes Thank You cards, reviews at work or on your products/services, email feedback on projects, everything that gives you insight into the difference you make. Never disrespect this pile of gratitude, as you’ll find your future accomplishments there – along with your resevoir of Goodwill.

NOTE: We must always balance our Confidence (Humility VS Arrogance), and in no way am I suggesting we focus too much on our ‘Greatness’, lest we tip to the dark side of self-esteem. For more on how to find the balance, read Principle 6 from Today We Are Rich.

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More posts by Tim Sanders

• How to choose the right keynote for your event
• How to get over nervousness before life's big moments
• How to deal with failure
• Listen more than you talk for better meetings

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