Principle II: We interpret body language unconsciously in terms of intent.
Recent brain research has turned our common-sense relationship to our bodies – and the bodies around us – upside down. Because we’re naturally aware of our conscious minds, we think that’s what’s in control of our bodies. I meet a new person, so I direct my hand to reach out and shake the hand that’s reaching out to me, for example.
But in fact, the unconscious brain has already begun a process of dealing with this newcomer long before I’m consciously aware that the other person is there. Neurons responsible for tracking threats in the environment around us have already fired to alert my adrenaline system – and a host of other systems – that there is potential danger in the area.
And all those systems have already begun to prepare, evaluating the intruder for signs of friendliness or its opposite. Is the person brandishing a club? Is the person moving quickly? Or is the person approaching me slowly with a big smile on his face?
All of this has happened long before I’m consciously aware of the new person in my space. In fact, the ratio of unconscious thought to conscious thought is something like 10,000,000 to 1. The unconscious brain is much bigger, faster, and more efficient than the conscious brain.
What does this have to do with public speaking? Long before you open your mouth to speak in front of an audience, you have already begun to send out unconscious messages to that audience, and it has done the same to you. You have already established a relationship. Neither you nor the audience is consciously aware of what that relationship is, but it is already determining your success or failure as a speaker.
As I talk about in Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma, if you don’t do the work of establishing an open relationship with your audiences to begin with, long before you start speaking, you’ll never be able to succeed with them. Only if you’re open with audiences, so that they can be open with you, can you connect with them. It’s that simple, and that complicated.
Fascinating – this idea that our brains get alert and ready for a new person’s arrival even before we are aware of the new person! I always remind clients and students that their presentation starts the moment they begin to rise from their chair (or move from their standing spot). Sounds like it begins even before they arrive in the room.
One thing that I think help make this feel really authentic, starting way before the presentation is holding the idea that this presentation is actually a conversation between me and the audience. That allows me to bring great openness to the talk.
Thanks for an interesting post, Nick.
Michelle — thanks for your comment. The key point to remember is that our unconscious brains are registering new people (and other potential threats) before we’re aware of them consciously. Your idea of thinking of a presentation as a conversation is a great way to bring “openness to the talk.” That doesn’t work for everyone, but for many people that is a great help.
Really interesting thoughts, Nick.
I remember a CEO of my organisation who always started a talk with his arms folded, looking down at his shoes. He was apparently warm in person, but never got much engagement from his audience.
His replacement was an enthusiastic speaker, who wandered on stage, arms open and a smile on his face. Laughter and applause almost from his first words.
I guess we in the audience had already made a judgement based on the way we first saw these two powerful men.